It’s been a hell of a year. I had to take a break from writing. I had to take a break from creating anything new because my head space was so all over the place, I could barely think. It’s been an up and down year. Lots of downs…more so than ups…but such is life, eh?
In this past year, so much has happened. My work life has changed drastically. So, my responsibilities have grown, which is great, but I am trying to figure out my place within all of these changes. It is hard to stay confident in your position when the changes directly affect your life and it’s not always in a positive manner. The learning curve is steep and I am hoping this is not a pass/fail situation.
My home life has changed. Two children have decided that living with their dad is something they want to try. I cannot even begin to explain how hard it is to let go of your children, knowing it is for them that you let them go and grow into whomever they are supposed to be…even if it is with the other parent and not yourself. I love my children with all that I have and, even though it is slightly killing me, I am trying to be as supportive as I can with this new arrangement. It still sucks. So no wit is just me and my husband and my youngest at my house for the most part. It is quieter…but I don’t always like that much quiet.
This past year, politically, has been so hard to handle. I am *not* a fan of 45. I was never a fan even before he ran for POTUS…but now I detest him…nay, I abhor him. His actions, his way of thought, his inability to see his own small mindedness and the ridiculous amount of support he has is simply mind boggling. And with all of the immigration issues to come up, along with seeing all of the new pre-existing conditions that will not be covered under the American Healthcare Act leads me to believe that unless you have a clean bill of health since birth, you are doomed to illness and possible death under this new act. Because Goddess forbid they cover diabetes, epilepsy, CEREBRAL PALSY THAT IS THERE FROM BIRTH TRAUMA…because WHO in their right mind would want to cover those?? Ridiculous. Needless to say I am disappointed in my government. And yes, I call my reps, I write them, I voice my opinions, I research them, etc…but it never seems to be good enough.
It is really hard to remain positive when it feels like the country is crashing down around your ears, ya know? I have ended friendships over the state of the US. I have basically been told by a family member to “have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up” when it comes to defending my political beliefs and baking up my beliefs with evidence. She promptly unfriended and blocked me. She isn’t the first family member to do that. Well, she is the first to tell me to have a coke and … (as she put it). But she isn’t the first to end a superficial facebook relationship over political views. And I wish I could be sad about it…but I’m not. I have no time for superficial relationships with people who have no issue arguing with me over something but never have any credible evidence to back up their arguments and who would rather delete me out of their digital lives than face facts. I mean, other than that…life is peachy.