Sometimes…

I’m a touch flakey. It’s okay. I know I am. All people are, at times, a touch flakey. I have all of these ideas. These GREAT ideas! Ideas for work from home business, ideas for food, for what I want to do through out the week…and then I flake. I mainly flake on personal goals but every once in a while there is collateral damage…

I’m still trying to figure out WHY I flake. Well…to be honest at times I flake because I simply don’t want to do what ever it is I am flaking on. It’s just easier to be like, “Meh…another time.” instead of forcing myself to do something I am less than enthusastic about accomplishing. Sometimes I flake because I have overbooked myself and I run out of time. This is within my control if I would just manage my time better but..hey. Life, you know? And sometimes I am flaking and I don’t even realize it because I forgot. I’ve got a gajillion things running through my head all day and night and with three kids, a husband, cats, dogs, work, household chores, remembering to take my vitamins, making food….phew…sometimes ALL of that gets in the way and I get distracted and I forget and the flakiness is completely unintentional. But still…being better at setting reminders is a goal to keep this from happening. Other times I flake because…well…commiting myself to something SO time consumming and large leaves me feeling overwhelmed and scared of “what if I fail??” and full of the guilt for any time taken away from my family. And facing those feelings is harder than flaking sooo….you get the point.

All of this is within my control. I don’t have to be a flake. I can be the person that I see in my head. I can.

Can’t I?

I mean, it isn’t like I set out to be this flakey person. I have THE BEST of intentions when I start out…but then I really just drop the ball. I need to get better at not picking up the ball if I don’t intend on holding  it like I am supposed to do. The only way to overcome that is to out myself and make the decision to move forward or not on whatever it is that I  am being flakey about and move the hell on.

 

So that is just what I am going to do. I am going to rehab my flakiness and become the Queen of Followthough….

I hope!

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One thought on “Sometimes…

  1. I feel you. Many of my friends are younger than me, earn more and are childless. I was going out a lot when my kids were with their dad and feeling totally unaccomplished on my free time. Now I’ve decided that if I want to stay home and do projects or go out, it’s going to be what I feel like doing. I’m saying no a lot more and making the time I do spend with them as memorable as possible. Keep working on your goals. We’re all just getting better with time.

    Liked by 1 person

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